


Eggs and Milk

by ashangel101010



Series: Co-Guardian Vader [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Arkanis (Star Wars), Awkward Conversations, First Meetings, Food, Gen, Gossip, M/M, Some Plot, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24297901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashangel101010/pseuds/ashangel101010
Summary: Maratelle Hux meets Task Force 99.
Relationships: Brendol Hux/Triclops, Maratelle Hux & Task Force 99, Task Force 99 & Armitage Hux
Series: Co-Guardian Vader [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532138
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Eggs and Milk

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing in the Star Wars universe or anything in any universe; I just like writing stories in that universe.

Eggs and Milk

*

Maratelle Hux throws her mat into the back seat and shuts the door to her landspeeder. She just couldn’t concentrate today, not with such a sunny day in Teeda Town. Her stomach murmurs since the twenty minutes of hot yoga burnt through the porridge and tea. She decides that an early lunch is in order and walks five blocks until she reaches the crosswalk that will take her to her favorite eatery on the whole planet: Dragon’s Haven.

But the damn crosswalk light just turned red.

“Where the hells are we going?” She hears a man shout and hopes he’s going another way. Unfortunately, he and his party end up right behind her, waiting on the dreadful light with her.

“To the cheapest restaurant they have here.” A higher-pitched man responds dryly.

“Mic, I swear to the Maker if I get food poisoning again I will vomit on your cot.” Another man grunts.

“Relax, Cav, this place has positive reviews.”

“What’s it called?”

_Please, don’t let it be Dragon’s Haven._

“Dragon’s Haven.”

_Pfassk you, Maker._

“Is the food made from dragons?”

“Uh, nothing on their menu indicates that. Mostly, sandwiches and such.”

“Is it at least dragon-shaped?”

“Not from the images I’m getting.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.” A fourth man huffs like a cuckoo hen.

“It gets worse. They have a _Notable Celebrities_ page.”

“How kitsch.”

“Anyone we would’ve heard of?” The first man from earlier asks in a far calmer tone.

“No, oh wait a minute, Brendol’s on this.”

_Oh, these are the guys that Rama and Brendol invited over for Death Night and Life Day! Should I just turn around and say something to them? Or maybe I should just ignore them?_

“Clearly, this is a candid holo since he’s going to town on that sandwich.”

“Is his wife there?”

“Of course she isn’t! If it weren’t for the birth and marriage records, I’d say she wasn’t real.”

“Maybe she’s one of those religious nuts that believes holos steal your soul or something.”

“Or she’s hideous like a Hutt.”

The light finally turns white. 

She turns around and sees Task Force 99 outside of their costumes. The dark-skinned man at the center is Sergeant Kreel; he wears a cosmic purple headscarf that she’s certain used to be Rama’s and a black turtle neck. The two giants, Zuke and Cav, draw her eyes next. Zuke wears a mustard-colored shirt, while Cav wears a caf plaid; their heads are freshly shorn. Misty has a mullet, a hairstyle that went out of style before her great-grandfather’s death, with a denym jacket and shirt. Shrap has a strawberry-blonde buzz cut and a faux-leather jacket already peeling under the sun. Mic, the slightest man in the group, wears a long-sleeved, watermelon-striped shirt and a wegsphere cap over his poufy white hair. Aero, ash-blonde frizz for hair, wears a light-blue hoodie and sweatpants, contrary to the denym pants that the rest of the group favors.

They don’t look like the Stormtroopers that frequent Scaparus Port. They look like regular guys from the big city just pissing about in a small town for some surprises.

And so she gives them one.

“I’m Maratelle Hux.” She turns back around and crosses the street.

*

Kreel watches the woman, now known as Maratelle Hux, walk away from them. She’s only a few centimeters shorter than Cav and with the long limbs of a dancer. She has a Wistie-cut like all those manic dream girls from the romantic comedy holos. She’s dressed in a lavender tank top, yoga pants, and plasticine flip-flops; he’s fairly certain that she just came from a yoga class and then had the misfortune to have a bunch of weirdos talk about her.

He should be embarrassed, but when you can count walking in on the Emperor’s son au natural with his very married lover, it’s hard to feel such an emotion anymore.

The light turns red.

“Should we go after her?” Mic asks and rubs the back of his head.

“And say what? _Sorry about comparing you to the most disgusting creature in the galaxy, but, to be fair, we weren’t certain that you even existed until now_?” Shrap barks.

“We could tell her that she’s pretty.” Cav suggests.

“Yeah, females really love it when males define them by their vanity.” Aero remarks dryly.

“Well, she went into Dragon’s Haven.” Misty points out.

“We can buy her lunch!” Zuke says excitedly. 

“Why not?” Kreel sighs just as the light decides to turn white again. Dragon’s Haven reminds him of quaint inns in fantasy novels. Wooden floors with hand carved panel molding. Plenty of windows to let in natural light. And a sizable bar with plenty of clean glasses. A nice old woman acts as the hostess and takes them to a round table with Maratelle’s booth in sight.

“So who’s going to apologize first?” Aero looks directly at Shrap.

“Why do I have to go first!?” Shrap hisses just as the hostess brings them water and flimsiplast menus. They each politely thank her and open up their menus.

“Because you’re the one that compared her to a Hutt, dumbass.” Mic closes his menu and sets it aside.

“You said she wasn’t even real!” Shrap exclaims and then looks at Zuke. “And you said she was a nut.” 

“Why do you have to drag me into this?” Zuke points at him.

“Hey, I need some back—” Maratelle scooches out from her booth and turns to face them. The squad goes silent as she walks up to their table.

“Changing tables?” The old woman returns with a datapad readied to take their orders.

“They’re friends of my husband, Esla.” Maratelle grabs a nearby chair and puts it between Aero and Mic. The latter brings his hand up to hide his datapad’s screen. She sits and smiles with her eyes closed.

“Would you boys like anything else to drink?”

“They’ll have vanilla malt shakes to match their uniforms.”

“Oh, I’ll have those out in a moment. Ready to order though?”

“I’ll have a chicken salad sandwich.” Maratelle says and hands her menu over.

“The nuna egg sandwich.” Aero says.

“The Arkanis gazpacho.” Mic says.

“The deluxe nutmeat and jelly sandwich.” Misty says.

“The spicy pork stew.” Shrap says.

“The acid-beet salad with a side of onion rings.” Zuke says.

“The loaded topato but without the cheese.” Cav says.

“The yellow gourd soup with crackers.” Kreel finishes and hands his menu to her like everyone else. She shuffles away and disappears behind the wooden double doors. It’s quiet for a moment.

“Did Brendol buy your hand in marriage?”

“Zuke!” Aero buries his head into his hands. 

“In a way. He was advertising that he needed a wife to do all the societal poodoo and not pester him for sex or kids. That is literally what he wrote in the ad.”

“I’m guessing he had no takers until you answered.” Shrap presumes.

“Oh no, he got plenty of other women who messaged him; they thought he was a chauvinist arse that deserved death threats. Poor Brendol, he’s too honest for his own good.”

“He can’t be entirely honest if he’s attained such a high rank.” Kreel adds and then regrets doing so because he’s now part of the conversation.

“Well, he’s very quiet. The last commandant took a shine to him since he was the only officer that wasn’t gunning for his position. That’s probably why Tarkin took him on during the Clone Wars. And he does have impeccable penmanship!” Esla comes back with a tray of vanilla milkshakes in delicate glasses. The shake itself is so thick that there’s a spoon instead of a flimsi-straw. Kreel takes a bite and finds it little too sweet, but it’s wonderfully creamy.

“What do you get out of this arrangement? Aside from his money.” _Mic sounds protective over Brendol. Everyone teases me that I’m in love with Rama, but Mic is the one crushing on Brendol._

“He doesn’t want to have sex with me or make me bear him an heir. It also helped that he makes enough credits for me not to work, so I can pursue my hobbies. Like collecting rare books.” 

“Yeah, but I’m pretty certain you can snag someone richer than him and still have all that.” Shrap points out.

“You’re right. I could have. I was thinking about marrying this man from my intergalactic book club; he’s also an Imperial and from a wealthy, respectable family. But I would’ve had to move around with him since he’s a bit needy. As waterlogged as Arkanis is, I love my homeworld.” She has her first spoonful, and her eyes light up.

“Are you planning to stay married to the Commandant even though he’s, uh—” 

“Making sweet love to our mutant servant in drag to the point of producing a lovechild?”

“Sure?” Zuke finishes.

“I guess until Brendol decides to divorce me. Or he does something really stupid to piss off the Emperor, and then I’ll divorce him.”

“Divorce? So no hopes in marriage lasting until death parts you?” Shrap scoffs.

“Of course not! He’s madly in love with Rama. Do you think Rama will be forever content as his mistress?”

“I don’t think he would be content even if the galaxy was laid before his feet.” Kreel comments.

“That may have been true before.”

“Before what?”

“Armitage.”

*

Mic wrinkles his delicate nose from Aero’s breath. The nuna eggs of Arkanis smell like the sulfur lakes of Lok if someone threw in blocks of moldy cheese. He hopes that the wind will blow the stench away from him. Or maybe the gaggle of upper-class joggers will cover the stench with their perfumed pits.

“Maratelle Hux!” A jogger in a golden sports bra and matching shorts halts before their group. Her hair is bleached as a bird’s nest, while her eyebrows are as brown as her eyes. Her skin is a gorgeous golden brown that makes her unnaturally white teeth stand out even more. Her thin lips are curled into a haughty grin like a Loth-cat’s.

“Rachelyn Sindian. Getting your cardio in?” Maratelle smiles politely, but her back muscles tense like she’s about to endure a great pain.

“I like to do a little warm-up of running six kilometers.” She twirls a bouncy curl like a very bored schoolgirl. 

“You’re so athletic.” Maratelle’s voice pitches high to hide her loathing.

“I know. But who are these young chaps with you?”

_Chaps? Do all Arkanisians think that’s how the upper-class Coruscanti speak? Or would it be Eriaduans since this is the Outer Rim and they are the closing thing to Coruscanti here?_ Cav wants to roll his eyes, but Kreel levels him a look.

“They’re friends of my husband.” The woman’s grin stretches to her perfect cheekbones. The three women behind her titter in between pants.

“Oh, I do hope your kitchen woman keeps them all happy.” She laughs in a loud _ha_ before departing with her clique. Maratelle inhales and exhales, and then resumes her brisk pace.

“You know we could mess her up for you.” Misty suggests as soon as those women were out of earshot.

“Please, I don’t need to stoop to her level. She may be from one of the Elder Houses, but she’s a cousin-kriffer like the rest of her family.”

“What?” Shrap’s eyes widen in shock. Incest isn’t allowed in the Empire, but, apparently, that didn’t extend to the Outer Rim territories.

“House Sindian is typically diverse, but not so much with the Arkanis branch. They prefer marrying their cousins.”

“Like second cousins?” Cav hopes with muted disgust.

“First, second, third, really all kinds. Arkanis allows cousin marriages because how else would royal blood stay pure?”

“So it’s fifty-fifty of a Sindian being mad then?” Aero quips.

“I haven’t heard any of them going insane, but I have heard of them being assassinated.” She smiles wistfully. From the corner of his eye, Mic sees Aero’s pallid cheeks tinge pink. He notes in his datapad to tease Aero about this later. 

“What are you _chaps_ going to do?” Maratelle even imitates Rachelyn’s obnoxious laugh. 

“Hang out with Brendol and Rama.” Zuke replies.

“It’s a school day, so Brendol’s working until dinner. And Rama’s out on a foodstuff run; he won’t be back for another five hours.”

“We just passed a foodstuff store!” Shrap exclaims.

“Rama’s getting his more exotic ingredients.” Mic looks up for marketplaces devoted to exotic ingredients, but the nearest one is about several systems away.

“What are you planning to do now?” She asks as she turns again to reach a parking lot. Mic looks around and sees most of his squadmates trying to figure out what to do for a moment. They then turn their attention on their sergeant. Kreel wears a perfect sabacc face.

“It’s a lovely day for walking.” And so Task Force 99 spends most of the afternoon walking.

*

Brendol Hux returns home with a sore arse; he spent the better part of his day sitting through meetings. With the war going on, he thought High Command would at least shorten the duration of meetings, but, alas, they do love keeping up appearances that everything is hunky dory. He sighs just as Rama appears in his slim black dress. He lifts up his veil and reveals his enchanting face, and Brendol kisses his thin lips gently.

“I poked out the Emperor’s Eye.” Rama whispers heatedly into his ear.

“Where was Merili hiding?” _She tormented him throughout his childhood on Dromund Kass. Killing his moths. Tried drown him in a swamp. But the worst thing that she ever did was telling him that his father would turn him into a slave. And she was right._

“Kashyyyk. She was enslaving a Wookie tribe. She was always mad, but she became quite sloppy. The Wookies were quite grateful and gave me a jug of Wroshyr lice syrup. It’s quite splendid with the Franjo pancakes. Oh, and a life debt.” Rama presses his lissome body against his; Brendol feels himself being poked.

“Breakfast for dinner?”

“Oh yes, and the boys are here.” His eyes flutter shut at Rama’s deft hands.

“Hmm? They staying the night?”

“They will and leave after breakfast. Armitage ate most of his baby cakes and then decided to fling his last one in Mic’s face. Zuke and Cav didn’t like syrup, so they had the apple butter. Aero kept staring at Maratelle; we might have to set them up one day. Shrap and Misty were watching some holo-soaps. Oh, and Kreel likes the scarf.”

_Aww, it’s so nice that he has a friend now. I hope they exchange comm frequencies soon._ Brendol smiles as he imagines Rama being chatty with the taciturn sergeant. Rama bestows a tender kiss on his meaty lips.

* 

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Comments- Here is the link: 
> 
> Dragon’s Haven is based upon Dragon’s Heaven, a 1988 OVA that is deeply influenced by Moebius and Studio Ghibli, but this review is all of the OVA I can watch without infecting my ancient laptop with a virus: [Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvHk-lI66EQ)
> 
> Did you know that Star Wars technically have mermaids, or a mermaid-like alien species from Yavin 8 called Melodie? Probably not because it was only mentioned once in the original Marvel run. Esla was one of the Elders of Melodie that knew all the legends. Also, the Imperial man from her book club she mentioned that she could’ve married is Enric Pryde (who also shares the last name of one Kitty “Shadowcat/Captain Kate” Pryde of the X-Men) aka the douche-nozzle that kills Hux in TRoS. Apparently, she and Pryde are good friends in the New Canon, so my headcanon is that Pryde also wanted to kill Hux so he could avenge Maratelle’s honor! 
> 
> Rachelyn Sindian is an OC of my design, but House Sindian is real in the New Canon through Claudia Gray’s Bloodline. Carise Sindian was the one who ratted out to the galaxy that Leia was Darth Vader’s biological daughter, thus destroying Leia’s career as a senator and her chances at being First Senator (the replacement title for Chancellor since Palpatine stained it). I figure at least one branch of the family would practice intermarriage just like real-life royals! 
> 
> Next part which is either a beach episode or Vader being weirded out by the Palpatines. Hopefully not both.
> 
> Updates as of 8/2/20: Originally, I had Cav as the slicer, while Mic was the melee specialist. Upon looking over the Wookie again, it turns out it was the reverse, so I'm now fixing that mistake.


End file.
